ANAHRAFRUN

2012-01-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

I've been a very bad girlfriend towards you, been disrespecting you. Been raising my voice when talking to you. The ego in me is really killing me, masyaAllah. I really have to throw this ego away to save this relationship. No way I'm gonna lose him. He is the best. The best of all I've met. The insecurites he had bcus of all the mistakes I did. Ya Allah, he don't deserve this because he have never make me feel insecure and have never make me have doubts on him. I trust him, he is very loyal. Ya Allah, please help me through this relationship. I need to have patience. I need to stop getting angry because he is angry for the mistakes I did. I seriously need to fucking wake up from all the wrongdoings I did. I love him, I really do )': I need to stop doing things he doesn't like. I need to stop being toooooo friendly. I don't want him to vanish because of the mistakes I've done. Please Nur Farhana, please stop being rude ):

It hurts me so much to hurt him )': It touches my heart to see him cry, to tell me he love me )':

detik waktu terus berjalan
berhias gelap dan terang
suka dan duka tangis dan tawa
tergores bagai lukisan
seribu mimpi berjuta sepi
hadir bagai teman sejati
di antara lelahnya jiwa
dalam resah dan air mata
kupersembahkan kepadaMu
yang terindah dalam hidup
meski ku rapuh dalam langkah
kadang tak setia kepadaMu
namun cinta dalam jiwa
hanyalah padaMu
maafkanlah bila hati
tak sempurna mencintaiMu
dalam dadaku harap hanya
diriMu yang bertahta
detik waktu terus berlalu
semua berakhir padaMu

2012-01-09T21:52:00.001+08:00

So today was the release of O level results. A year ago, I took my O level results. The feeling before getting the results is really one of a kind. In fact I just couldn't describe the feelings. Upon receiving my results, I was given a false hope by my form teacher. She told me I can go poly and so I started counting my points and theres a total of 29 points. 29 points? Which poly would want to take me in? I went home, showed my mum without spurting out a single thing and started crying so badly that my aunt had to console me. Told me that even if I go to ITE, I can still move forward to poly provided I did well. What she said is true but at that point of time, I just hate it when someone suggested ITE to me. I don't know why but I really hate it. Because I know life is unfair, people stereotype. By listening to the alphabet I, T and E people start having this thoughts like its somewhere for the stupid blablabla and stuff. I got really worried because my paternal side will be looking down on me, start lecturing this and that - which I hated the most.

That moment, I was working at one of this retail shop. One of my colleague got a very laser and spicy mouth. She got to know that I am going ITE and guess what did she keep on saying whenever I did something wrong?

Ni ah budak budak ITE.

I mean like, what the fuck is wrong with ITE. I started to hate the place call ITE just because I was being judge that way. You know the feeling like people are trying to bring you down and down and down? As days goes by, my heart start to soothe slowly. I heard stories that many went to poly after spending a few years in ITE. ITE, is not ITS THE END and going to ITE is not the end of the world and my life will stop there. No! I applied Integrated Logistics Management as suggested by my dad because my dad work under logistics and so he know many things regarding logistics.

Day passed and I start to learn that ITE is a stepping stone for some. It's not a place for stupid people. No. Because I strongly believe no one is born stupid. It's just that you're slow in catching up things. ITE is an institution not a prison where people can easily look down on you. No. There are many successful people who was once from ITE. They just go the long way in order to be successful.

I won't be meeting this beautiful soul if its not because of ITE.

Thank you for being part of my 2011 and even up till now. Thank you so much sweetums. Lets do our best and get our h.nitec done and over with girls and proceed to the next step :)

2012-01-08T04:10:00.001+08:00

Few days ago, sweetheart was being utterly sweet that I actually tear up after listening to what he say.

"Pokok pokok dahan dahan rumput rumput bulan.. Dgr sini. Aku nak korang jadi saksi yang aku sayang dia!"

Why are you so sweet. Omg! I fucking love you. I am fucking touched when you told me about your plans on us. I never expect that dear. I am really touched. Omg! You're really a keeper baby. Never wanna share you with anybody else. Yea I'm stingy like that cus I want you all by myself :) So bless to have you in my life. I'm so glad that you enter my life. I'm so proud to have you as mine. Love how you told me your plans on your business. Proud of you dear! Very proud of you! :D Tak kesah lah apa orang nak cakap ke nak tertawa kan awak ke, yang penting awak carik rezeki halal and also you're making money with your own effort and with your own plans and its you who manage things plus awak tak menyusahkan orang pun :) Love you baby!

2012-01-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

Love this kindda outing whereby its just the two of us, spending quality time together. Laughing, sulking, playing around with each other. Love how you make a fool of yourself by walking like a lady and me laughing at your foolishness. Hehehe! You are really awesome baby. Really love how you laugh madly when I wanted to kiss you neck. Hahaha! You make me love you so much as days goes by. I'm glad that I own you and you are mine now. I'm glad that I got you! Dear, thank you for the dress. Thank you for the short outing to airport with me. Thank you for watching Ombak Rindu with me. Thank you for buying me chocolates. Thank you for spending your time with me. Thank you for the jolibi that day and thank you for the perfume. And oh ya that helmet fragrance really remind me those days where we met for the first time. Hehe!

Sayang Mohamad Adib alot alot ♥♥

2012-01-03T04:16:00.001+08:00

No other guy who have cried for me like you did.

Its ripping me apart to see you shed that tears of yours.

I just want you to be my last and I want no other guy to replace you because you can never be replace. I love you with all my heart. Its just you I want to be with forever. The only thing that can separate us is death. But as long as I'm alive and so are you, we will always be together despite anything happen.

Its only you, Mohamad Adib.

2011-12-31T17:16:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of 2011. Many things happen this year.

2011 where I met my ITE mates, met Mohamad Adib. 2011 where I got a blast 18th birthday ever and it was the first time I teared up when I was being surprised because I was too happy. Yayy! It's the first time I'm celebrating countdown with sweetheart :)

Resolutions? Nah not going to mention anything. Semangat seminit je. Hehe!

Lastly, HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL THE HUMANS IN THE WORLD!

2011-12-22T00:37:00.000+08:00

Been listening to Siapa Sangka Siapa Menduga by Liza Hanim over and over again. I don't know why but the song is just so nice. Heheh~ And so one of my cousin just gave birth on 16th Dec. Congrats! This is just a random post. Just feel like posting some stuff here. Work have been taking up most of my time and I don't know how can I actually forget that I got plans with cousins on the 24th Dec and I have to work! ); So I guess I will just meet them early on that day and then off to work cus work starts at 5.30 tsk ): Hopefully plan goes well.

So btw on the day of my birthday, mirah and sufi asked us out and again I was told to wear formal. So dress us formal with heels. I feel very much confident wearing like that. We had dinner cum supper at Swensens and it was mirah and sufi's treat. They kindda suprised me with ice cream and a candle placed on top. It was great night with us laughing over some "That awkward moment when..." haha! I never want to ride on his bike with heels anymore. It is so tiring plus scary when you to get on the bike and get down from the bike. Lol!

So next plan will be Wild wild wet! Yay I cant wait! :D

Oh yes. I have to really start saving my money and only spend on things that I need instead of wants! I have to start saving pretty badly. And and one happy news! I lost 5 kg, the thing that I've been wanting. Even my colleague was shock upon looking at me and even mom notice that I've lose weight hehe! From 50 kg to 45 kg. A great achievement. Feel so good but then, I was told by the boy to gain back that 5 kg in a month time because he love meaty meaty me. Lol! Oh ya, that day I asked mum if I can enroll bike liciense next month and she went like boleh boleh boleh blah! And dad did the same thing. Haiya! Irah already enroll for her bike liciense! Even the boy doesn't allow me to take bike liciense.

So just now, went NTUC with parents. We spent like 200 over dollars there and just as I got out from NTUC, I asked dad if he got any penny to eat at work and he says this, "Takpelah. Ayah utamakan keluarga dengan barang dapur dulu." Aww I love my dad for doing his responsibility well as the head of the family!

And so before I end my post, a photo of me and closest friend. Love em to bits and pieces!

2011-12-21T18:10:00.002+08:00

I miss the old us. If only I learn to appreciate him, never take him from granted back then, never lie and never disrespect him, I guess this "so near yet so far" kindda feeling won't happen. I've said sorry a thousand times but the mistakes are being repeated. I never wanna lose him but my actions are just showing that I'm pushing him away. No, I don't wanna lose him. I said that he is one in a million guy and is special to me and when he asked me why I say so, I don't know what to answer. It's not that I don't have a reason to it but I just feel like he is different with the guys out there and I want him to know that he is just unique and the reason to why he is unique is because he settle things with me nicely. He have never put his hands on me when he is angry. He know his limit. He always make me feel special in front of his friends and have never embarassed me in public. He gave me chances too many times but I took advantage on him. He have been patience towards handling me a lot of times. He fetch me home from work despite being sick and weak. He waited for me under my void deck for me to reach home from work when we had a slight tiff despite being sick and weak. He never give up on me. He got angry when some idiots humiliate me in public and I always feel protected whenever I am with him. He got me food that I've been craving for. He brought me to places I've never went to. He taught me how to stand up fr my rights. He bring me along whenever he met his friends and he socialise well with my friends eventhough I know that he is shy. He sent me to see the doctor when I'm sick. He taught me to self defence. He taught me to love myself. He says I look beautful even without make up and with my specs on. He love me for my imperfection. Thats the reason why I have always love him but I know all along, I've never showed him that I love him and that he mean a lot to me.

I may not agree to some stuff he said but whatever he blabbers knock some sense into me but because I know my ego is controlling me too much that sometimes I just had to burst out and make him angry. Why can't I just be the girl that he wants. He sacrifised many for me but my sacrifisation towards him can never beat his. He have done his job as my lover well. In a relationship, we need to have this thing called trust but I just lost his trust just like that. I may lie to him many times but I just want Mohamad Adib to know that I've never lie him about my love for him. Despite me disrespecting him, he still stand strong, swallowed the pain and never give up on us. Thank you for that dear.

Just a little something to remind myself, "Swallow your pride. Patience is they key to everything."

2011-12-14T15:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :D

It was a very wonderful advance birthday celebration ever with bby planning everything. Can I like tell every single details? Hahah ok! I will. So, firstly before the day come, I was told by bby to wear a dress on that day, with heels and curl my hair. I did as told.

So one day before the 'big' day, I went round and round the mall in search of a perfect dress. I tried it on, take a picture of it and whatsapp bby to ask for his opinion but he dislike all the dress that I showed him. So the last dress, I tried it on, I like it and I bought it with whatsapping bby the picture of the dress because I wanted to surprise him with how I dress up the next day but he still wanted to see so I let him see the top part of the dress only.

I was very excited for the day to come that I slept at 3 in the morning. The next day, upon waking up, I called bby and he told me to get ready by 3 or 3.30 so I did as told. Later around 4, bby called again and told me to take time because his friend's car broke down. I took my own sweet time to get ready. After getting ready, called bby again by what time should I get out from the house and he told me once I'm done I can get out from the house but before going out, I hafta call him. Because I was instructed by him to take cab to Nanson Rd. I was like where the hell is Nanson Rd. Because bby told me to drop off at The Pier.

So I flag the cab told the taxi driver Nanson Rd and drop me off at The Pier. Again I was instructed by bby that once I reach there, I hafta call Fauzan to fetch me. So I called Fauzan and a few mins later, Zana came to fetch me. She bring me around that area. So I asked her where are we going and she told me we're going to Studio M Hotel and my I was :O!! HAHAHA!

Then went in the hotel room, the first person I saw was Zul! And I was like omg!!!! They sang a happy birthday song to me and I teared because I was so touched! I was told to blow the candles. HEHE! So we started snapping photos and bla bla bla. I started to wonder where the hell is bby. I texted him he didnt reply. I called him but he didnt picked up the phone. I was very sad because I thought he just gonna surprise me with my friends and without him.

So I was talking to Effa and Mirah when another surprised was being made! Bby came in and sing a birthday song for me while zana walk towards me with another cake and I hafta blow the candles. I was just lost for words :')

I just wanna thank everyone for making this 18th a blast. Really love each and everyone of you. Thank you bby for all the surprises. Thank you for the dress, the shoes, the watch, the surprises and everything dear. Really love you a lot. I understand that the plan was almost cock up and stuff but overall I didn't expect this. Thank you so much! Thank you so much for the birthday presents.

I am very happy to see that my clique of friends can somehow blend well with his friends. More of this please ;))

2011-12-06T00:36:00.001+08:00

My love,

Trust me that you've been the best through out this 7 months being with you. Now I realise to why you've been angry this few days. I broke your heart too many times and you don't deserve this shit I put you through. Somehow I am amazed that you still standing strong in handling how me despite me being rude and disrespect you. How can I not see a good guy like you and took you for granted? I lied because I am scared of you and I am sure that I've told you this a lot of time. I am scared of you. I used to contact with lots and lots of guys before I met you but after I met you, you gave me the reason to stay and love you. I have never play behind your back because I was being true to you.

Mohamad Adib,

I want you to know whatever happens, I will always love you and no one can snatch my love for you away. I am sorry for the tears you shed. I am sorry for breaking your heart. I am sorry for putting pressure on you. I appreciate the sacrifices you've done for me. Thank you for the love and care that you've showered me and pamper me like a small kid. I really love you that I always screwed and fucked everything up )': Dear, I wanna talk to you. I really miss you and I need you now )':

2011-12-04T22:24:00.001+08:00

I'll be gone.

2011-12-01T01:34:00.001+08:00

It's been 3 months since we are officially together dear. 3 months is equivalent to 12 weeks and also equivalent to 90 days. It's a short period of time for others but they don't know what we've gone through. I'm glad that we're still standing strong dear, despite all the shits I put you through, never will I want you to be away from me. You've been really the best for me and I am very lucky to have someone like you. I may not show you how much I love you and how much you meant to me but deep down, there's only you in my heart. There's a long journey for us. We are only at the beginning of the path, there's a lot more to come but I'll just keep praying for us that we'll grow old together, insyaAllah.

Baby, let's watch each other get saggy and have wrinkles ok and teach our grandchildren the 'Last Touch' game ok? Let's show our grandchildren our rock handshake!

♥♥♥

2011-11-30T18:32:00.001+08:00

WHAT DATE IS TOMORROW?! :D

2011-11-11T15:29:00.001+08:00

The very first time you asked for a meet up! :D

2011-11-05T13:26:00.000+08:00

You just left to Malaysia like a few hours ago and I am already missing you ): I know you'll be coming back tomorrow but it's like so long. Going out from the house to work without informing you. It's so different. To call you randomly.. I know I'm like so over re-acting. You'll be home tomorrow. Gah! Just fucking miss you ): To listen to your voice this morning really makes my day. And now, I can't imagine myself without you once you're in NS. Can I say I hate national service?

Haih! Miss you so fucking much. Baby trust me, I will always be true to you dear.

2011-11-03T20:10:00.002+08:00

In a relationship, you can't expect it to be smooth sailing.

To my beloved boyfriend, I'm sorry for raising my voice while talking with you yesterday. I don't know what was I thinking. I don't mean to be rude to you dear ): You did this for my own good but it seems like I didn't appreciate you. Gah! I really don't know what exactly I'm thinking. But whatever it is, I am really thankful for having you in my life. Truth is, you taught me many things. Thank you dear. Thank you for standing up for my rights.

Baby have left me for his martial arts training which ends at 10 ): 2 hours more to go! I can do this. Sometimes I wonder, how do I go through my everyday life if he already start NS. Its like I've been too depending on him now and if he were to masok NS, it will be so different. Maybe I get to meet him like once a week? ): Hais. I hate national service! He told me that, he is afraid if I were to cheat on him if he already start NS. No baby, I will never cheat on you dear. I will be true to you always.

Hmm. By the way!! Mum finally cooked one of my cravings which is Ayam lemak cili padi. Hehe! Love you ibu. That day, I tweeted that I was craving for Saffron roti prata. Few days later, which falls on my 2nd monthsary with bby, he brought me there to satisfy my cravings hehe! ;) You're suchha sweetheart! Love you truckloads dear. You're the best and I will never trade you for anything or anyone! You scold and nag at me for good. Really appreciate it sayang <3

2011-10-30T16:24:00.001+08:00

Thanks daddy! <3

2011-10-26T11:34:00.004+08:00

It's time that I have to stop pleasing people and ignore what people gonna say or think about me. It's time I stop being afraid to voice out what I dislike. Because all this while, I've been keeping myself quiet and let people step over my head and I feel like a dumb for letting people to do so. And I realise, I got nothing pleasing people. Yes nothing. Bla bla bla whatever. So now, I have to start standing up for my rights and fight for my rights. Not gonna let people walk over me. That's it.

Working later at 7.30 yes yes double pay! Should have request for full shift. Well it's ok. By the way, got a letter from SingNet and they stated that I can collect my MacBook Pro from 29th Oct onwards. Yay! Happy girl I am, thank you ayah! ;)

Been whatsapp-ing with bby lately ever since my prepaid is low and his messages always make my day. Thank you sayang! Always shower me with his love no matter what. Nothing more that I can ask for. Syg, thank you for being patience towards handling me. Thank you for reminding me over and over again that you love me :) Thank you for singing my favourite song for me and if only you allow me post your melodious voice on the net, I would have done so baby! Love you with all my heart!!! <3

2011-10-23T13:01:00.003+08:00

We've gone through alot through out this 5months plus. You've seen me at my worst but despite me being all this, you still stay and never go. You take all my shits w/o giving up. I've said many times that I'll try to change my attitude fr the sake of us but well I guess now, its easier said than done. I've not been the best for you all this while. Your words while consoling me that day when I was sobbing hard, really touched me. Sometimes I asked myself how can you be this strong with many things you went through.

Sometimes I asked myself, what do I have that you still decide to stick w me. I didnt shower you as much love and care like how you did. I don't have the looks. I was a failure in making you happy. I was a failure for not being able to do my part right. I was a failure for I didn't able to do the basic needs in a relationship. It's like all this while, you've been doing your best in building up this relationship and me, doing nothing to improve it and make it better. Thats not what I'm suppose to do because eventually it takes two hand to clap.

You've sacrificed a lot for me but me. I think I've sacrificed none for you. But boy, despite all that, I just want you to know that I love you. Love you with all my heart dear and I don't want us to go separate ways. Like you said, "We learn by experience in life. We learn and we improve." I'm amazed how you can always make things right when things went wrong.

Shall blog again when I'm free. Gonna have my shower now and get ready for work.

2011-10-08T02:31:00.002+08:00

I know you gonna read this. There's just a few things I need to say that maybe I've never say it to you or maybe I did.

"Mutual trust, mutual understanding, mutual respect... Some important aspect of the way how try to treat people now. But still, not important to most." Quoted by you.

From the start, I know that I've disrespect you even after being told to have that mutual respect for you, I keep repeating the same old mistakes by disrespecting you. Frankly speaking, I don't mean to disrespect you. I have no intention to disrespect you and I have this feeling where you gonna get bored with my apologies. I, failed to make you happy and I know, even without you telling me, I've been putting pressure on you with my attitude. A failure I am for not being able to make you happy. Even the basic and simple thing that you asked for in our relationship - I didn't manage to accomplish it because I was selfish. I was selfish for not putting myself in your shoes. I always put myself first, instead of putting you first like how you did.

You are really serious with this relationship but me, I guess I was being too playful that the smallest thing I did really hurt your feelings but baby, that doesn't mean I didn't take this relationship seriously. This, I have to be frank. You're the nicest guy I've ever met and this, I'm gonna be frank too, that I took granted over your kindness and your patience towards handling me despite you being hot tampered and stuff but your patience towards me is unlimited. Baby, I know I've gone beyond limit by massaging him but dear, my intention was to help him thats all and not more.

I really don't know what else to say because I know I am a failure in making you happy. Yes, you're right dear. Before doing anything or act or whatever it is, I have to put myself in your shoes but I guess, all this while I fail to put myself in your shoes. I am too much. I am damn fucking too much. I feel bad. I feel bad and guilty for all of my wrongdoings towards you. I've done too much things that hurt you badly unlike you, you pamper me, shower me with your love and tender loving care. I am just afraid.....afraid that one day you might get bored with all the hurtings you received from me and then left me........ )':

****

Ibu, I really thank you for welcome me home from work but yet, all you got from me was me raising my voice while talking to you. Shouted at you and ignore you when you told me to help you to take a cup of drink for you. I am really sorry for treating you like this. I know you're disheartened but you didn't show it. You went to bed, leaving me without saying goodnight or even tell me that you're going to bed. You even texted me saying you love me forever. Ibu, I am really sorry for being rude );

2011-10-04T21:43:00.003+08:00

Nobody said this was easy peasy. Nobody said this is perfect but I'm glad that we're still standing strong up till now despite all those shitty moment we faced. Trust me boy, I never stop loving you since the moment you stole my heart. Loving you and missing you is my everyday routine now and I never get bored of it. You're someone I'm relying on now and thank God, for this greatest gift. And so, we have finally officially reach our 1 month and 3 days together.

Right now, I wanna reminisce those days when we first knew each other :) You started chatted with me randomly in facebook on 15 may. You asked me if we have ever chatted and so I said no. That was the first time you talk to me. I chatted with you for the sake of chatting and my intention was to make friends with you only because my sister told me you wanted to get to know me. So why not we just be friends. I still remember that each night while smsing you, I'll fall asleep w/o telling you. Hehehe! So on 17 May, we finally met. Where? In school. You wanted to fetch me home from school and I agree. Instead of sending me home, we went to grab our lunch at Macd. I was being annoying and you got irritated. Lol! We were actually arguing whose voice is nicer and then you told me to have a battle. So after lunch that day, we went to Grandlink with our school uniform to karaoke. At that moment when you started singing, my heart just melted. Oh boy, your voice is just too nice to listen to. Then it was my turn to sing and I was so shy but you told me not to. So I started singing like how I usually sing.

After that, we went home happily and still texting each other. From that day onwards, we've been meeting quite frequently and I started to like you but I didn't dare to tell you maybe because I think that its too early to tell. Maybe you were just my crush. But as days goes by, each time before meeting you, my heart skipped a beat, butterflies in my tummy. Nice! Then one day, you confessed me your feelings in the car. You asked me what was my feeeling but I was too shy to tell. So blast out 'Cinta Monyet' song whereby the chorus goes like this - "Aku suka dia sama juga dia suka tapi kenapa si mama bilang kalau ini cinta monyet.."

You pretended that you didn't hear and you wanted me to say it. So I put my guts and shyness aside and confessed my feelings for you. Hehe! Then there's this one day, we went out. When you send me home, you kiss me on my cheek! Ahhhh!! You're making butterflies in my tummy!! I blush because I was fucking shy!! And I keep saying, "Awak!! Awak kiss kite!!!" while smiling cheekily. So I wanted to kiss your cheek back but you elak!! ): Malu tau tak! Hahahaha! Ended up I get to kiss your cheek. Then slowly, we started to kiss each other hand each time we met and bid goodbye ;)

Slowly, my feelings grew stronger and the love feeling starts to develop. Our 4 month journey of knowing each other wasn't a smooth journey I can say. Many things happen but we still carry on to this relationship. We fight every obstacles. We shed tears. We share happiness and laughter. Everything happen in that 4 months knowing you but I'm glad we're still in this relationship. Finally (!!!!!!) on 010911, we were sitting by the beach and you asked me this, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I looked at you with wide smile and knock my head!! I was so damn happy that you are officially mine!!!! :D :D :D

Mohamad Adib, I want you to know that the only guy my heart beat for is you. You and not other guys. Like I said and promise you that I will never play behind your back or cheat on you. Never will. Even when you're serving the country next year, no one can replace you honey. I really love you with all my heart dear. I am still trying to stop giving you attitude and to respect you for all this while, I've been disrespecting you and yet you never stop to showering me with your love and tender loving care.

Much love,

Your one and only girlfriend

2011-09-12T13:08:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry. Sometimes I get jealous thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could ):

2011-09-02T01:29:00.002+08:00

I love you more than words. Within the period of time knowing you, many things have happen but we're still holding on to this relationship because we just love each other too much, no doubt. Despite those period where you wanted to leave or me wanting to leave, we don't have the heart to move. You're like a best friend, brother, boyfriend to me. My feelings for you eventually grew stronger each day.I would never want to trade you for anything else in this world because you're all I need in this life of sins.

I cherish every moment spent with you and I never want this to stop. I hope everything will be fine for us, insyaAllah. Feel so happy to see you smiling so wide, while moving towards me. I like that smile, I really like it dear. Thanks for all the love you've showered me, I really appreciate it and I don't want you to stop showering me with lots and lots of love and never stop pampering me heeheh! I love you so much my dear boyfriend ;)

2011-08-22T15:31:00.003+08:00

Nothing more that I can ask for. I love you with all my heart.

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu,besarnya cintaku,tingginya khayalku bersamamu.

2011-08-15T21:44:00.003+08:00

Well last week been a busy week for me. Work and school been occupying my time and sexyboy been fetching me home from work whenever I'm working till closing. The other day, was telling him I was craving for ayam percik and so he went to get those and fetch me home from work. He brought me to Tanjung Rhu View and start feeding me those fat chicken hehe! ;) Thats the reason why I love Mohamad Adib. Each time I tell him what I'm craving for, he'll surprise me with the food that I'm craving for - most of the time! Hewhewhew~

Without me realising, it has been 15 days we have been fasting and in 15 days time, its hari raya. Excited much? Well hopefully, they won't be giving me any shifts on hari raya itself pls. Baju raya is all ready. Mum started baking but we have yet to spring cleaning the house. Sooon! :)

And so the other day, iftar with sexyboy, babygirl and haikal. It's like iftar cum double date. Broke fast at Lagoon and something funny happen when its about time to break fast. Lol! So after eating, we had karaoke session over at Chai Chee CC.

Tomorrow, iftar with my girls. Yay! Looking forward for it. The last time I saw my girls (except eiyja) was during Eiyja's birthday pit. Miss them so much. And on Sun, iftar with my 4/5bees.

Love the people in my life and I'll never trade them for anything.

2011-08-05T01:33:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since I last update my blog.

Well, I just can't sleep. I've been thinking of this guy up here. My mind and heart, not at ease. Sometimes I feel like a total loser and useless bitch for not being able to make him happy. Didn't know that that little note can make you mad. I didn't even have the intention to still keep it ): I've move on from my past and you're all the matters to me now. Yes its true, its never easy to move on from my past but trust me, you make it easy for me to move on and you make my love for you grew even stronger each day. Its hard losing someone you love and I don't wish to lose you because I love you so.. I may not show you how much I love you but deep down, I'm sincere being with you.

I don't wish for us to be a part. Cus you're all that matters to me now. I apologize for not able to meet your expectations. I hate having a cold shoulder with you ): I feel so useless!

2011-07-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

School timetable sucks a lot. School start at 8am almost everyday but ended school early on mon, wed and fri. So, gave BEV retest a miss just now and I got a big fat zero for BEV CA1. Lol! After school just now, sexyboy told me to accompany him to cut his hair. The result was naise but he dislike it and I don't know why -.- He got irritated when I keep complimenting him hewhewhew! The hairdresser said that he look better with long hair but to me, he look better with short hair and I luv it.

Btw, babygirl turn 18 yesterday and we throw a surprise for her on the day before her big day. Glad she likes it. Hehe! So she's organizing a pit this Sat and I was assign to be the game planner together with her. Yay! Can't waitttt! ;D

Oh gosh, am so hungry at this hour >:(

2011-07-10T00:46:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but I feel like crying at this hour. I hate having this feeling.

I have very very low self esteem and that I often hate myself, MasyaAllah! ): What most sadden me is that I love comparing myself with others like why are some girls so extremely pretty and I'm not like them. Why is my body shape like this, why is my nose so wide and the list goes on. People been saying, "Everyone is beautiful in their own way." But I just can't seem to believe that quote. I'm lack of confidence. I know I am criticizing Allah's creation but omg I really can't accept myself for who I am. Sometimes I tried being someone else just to make me feel better but it really doesn't help.

I really don't know whats wrong with myself. Feel like a total loser )):

2011-07-02T03:38:00.000+08:00

Just got back home from work. Don't know why but feeling so damn tired. Sexyboy fetch me home from work. Before going to work, I asked him if there's enough time for me to grab my KOI but sadly no. Only God knows how long I've been craving for KOI but didnt manage to grab it. If you read my previous post, I stated that I'm gonna get my KOI before work w bbygirl right? But nah, I didnt buy it in the end. So btw, just as he reach, he saw me holding on to a cup of drink which I bought from macd and he told me that he actually bought me a drink. He passed me KOI paper bag. So happy! Finally, gotta satisfy this throat and tummy with Ice cream milk tea :) Tell me how can I not love him? :D

2011-07-01T15:26:00.002+08:00

HALF OF THE YEAR HAVE GONE.

MAY JULY BE A GOOD MONTH FOR EVERYONE!

2011-07-01T14:24:00.005+08:00

Babygirl been reminding me to fetch her from school. So since I was free on tuesday, decided to fetch her on that day. I thought I'd be lost but thank God, I'm not lost cus she was guiding me through the phone hehe! Sat around her school for a while and then off we went to Fazmal's place for a slacking and karaoke session :D Wiwi joined us around 8plus. Sadly, Hawa couldn't make it this time round cus she was having school camp.

And so we sand our lungs out, pretending to be like Ziana Zain. Muahahahah! Did a lil catching up with the girls, laugh like one mad woman. Come I show you how buruk I laugh!

But sadly, they didn't want to entertain me. How sad! So, its a without-fail thingy that whenever we're at Fazmal's place, we had self-manicure. So eiyja had mixture of colours on her nails.

While I got yellow!

Then around 10 plus, we had to bid goodbye. See you girls next time before school reopen. This time round, I'm gonna make sure its a full strength :D :D

So anyhooos, this boy here have been sucha sweetheart, treating me like a princess. He random texted me asking me if I eat botok-botok. I ever heard of it but don't know what it is. So I asked him what is that and bla bla bla and he told me he wanted to give some to me cus thats what his mom cooked today. Before he went for Friday prayers, he rush down to my place just to give me those botok-botok. It was superbly yummy! While eating, I remember eiyja's mum once gave me. Haha, how selenger. Thanks love, really appreciate it!

So its my first day of red month and ya ampun, the cramp is really killing me to the max ): At the same time, I'm working later!! Mati ah aku macam gini. So after work, gonna head down for 7905 chalet. Yeahoo! So before heading to work, gonna grab light lunch with babygirl first. Gonna get my KOI! Been craving for it for God knows how long.

Ok, blog again soon. God bless~

2011-06-29T01:13:00.002+08:00

I miss you, so damn much.

Sometimes I'm just wondering if I have ever make you happy, if I have ever mean so much in your life, if my presence is really important to you. It's only a month plus that we've known each other my feelings for you grew stronger. Too many things we argued about and I wish I could stop all that but I know there's always ups and down. If I ever hurt you in any ways, I am sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart. If you think that you don't wish for someone like me to be in your life, tell me. I can take my leave and will stop bothering you. I'm sorry for unable to be there for you when you needed someone.

I'm one hopeless and useless bitch /:

2011-06-17T13:55:00.002+08:00

Hi! It's friday today and I srzly thought that weekends is already here -.-

I ditch EDGE camp for work cus I srzly find it troublesome to text my colleagues, asking them who can cover for me so just decided to ditch camp. So, work later at 6.30pm and I've yet to take my shower krik krik! Gonna work for 4 days straight and hopefully I'll survive.

Mum brought along the kiddos to the swimming pool with the cousins and I would usually join them but not today. So its just me and mirah at home.

Guess what?! I'm left with less than 50bucks to survive till the end of the month. I'm so broke :o I really really have to learn to save money and stop spending on unimportant things. Grr!

Ok I better get going. Adib is coming over my place, I think so bye bye!

2011-06-14T22:33:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I think that I am very demanding. Sometimes I think that I am never good enough for anyone. Sometimes I think I am just being plain annoying. Sometimes I think that my presence is nothing to anyone. Sometimes I think that I am a total failure. Sometimes I think negatively. Or maybe sometimes I'm just thinking too much.

FUCK.MY.LIFE

2011-06-04T15:36:00.000+08:00

❤❤❤❤❤❤

2011-05-30T12:25:00.005+08:00

It's been a few week or so that we've been contacting with each other. There's this thing in you that make me like you even more each day and I can't figure out what it is. Been meeting you almost everyday and the feeling of missing starts to pop out when I didn't see you for one day. Whats this suppose to mean? Just so you know, I'm starting to love having you by my side. The feeling is indescribable. Hi mister, welcome to my heart :))))

2011-05-24T17:43:00.000+08:00

I think, I'm falling..for real!

2011-05-21T23:22:00.006+08:00

Say what you wanna say. This is my fucking life, I do what is best for myself. I live not to please anyone. So today I went to do my project over at IKEA then met Adib after that and slack over at lower seletar with him and together with his friends. Glad that I can get along with his clique of friends :)

2011-05-16T22:13:00.003+08:00

I’ll put on a brave face and I’ll smile and listen to my friends bitch about you and tell me I’m worth so much more than you and that I’ll find someone better than you soon. But I’ll still lie here when I’m alone and lonely, thinking about you and missing every ounce of you, even though I should be hating you after what you did to me.

2011-05-16T21:04:00.001+08:00

Sebab ku mengerti cinta itu tak semesti memiliki.

2011-05-15T13:57:00.005+08:00

So sweet of mum to surprise me by fetching me home from work yesterday. I love my family. The people I can rely on and the people I can depend on. Bob Marley says No Woman No Cry but I say No Man No Cry.

Love love love <3

2011-05-10T18:35:00.004+08:00

Aiyo I'm so freaking hungry. I'm craving for Stewed Beef Noodle over at century square but mum is lazy to travel all the way to century square to accompany me ))): And at the same time, mum didn't cook today. Halamak! There's plenty songs been playing in my tummy. I'll get so cranky when I'm hungry and I hate this >:O

Anw, exams is a few weeks away. I'm not yet prepared and surprisingly, I don't understand a single shit. FML~ People been asking me why I choose this course. Truthfully, I don't have a slight interest in this course but my daddy wants me to take up this course basically because he is working under logistics. Well one day, for sure, I will have to somehow like this course because I wouldn't want to waste my 2 years in ITE for nothing. I'm still trying my best to be friends with my course. Sad life sad life ):

I VERY HUNGRYYYYYYY NO ONE WANTS TO ACCOMPANY :O

2011-05-07T14:03:00.001+08:00

I'm happy with what I have now :D

2011-04-30T09:02:00.002+08:00

People come and go. Some make a big impact in my life and some don't. Some matters to me and some don't. Life can be tougher than I thought but I just gotta swallow everything and go on. Mum been the best friend, sister, mother when I'm at my lowest. Thank you God for this greatest gift. I'm starting to appreciate the people around me before they are gone for long.

2011-04-24T18:48:00.003+08:00

School already started but frankly speaking, I don't like school. The environment is very different. I miss my old classmates. Anw besides school, I got myself a part time job over at Parkway Parade Cotton On. Thanks to eiyja's sister for recommending. Will be starting work this tuesday after school. And I've been thinking, where to get myself change and I have to bring big bag to put my clothes and shoes in. Oh cus I end school at 4.30 and work start at 6. I hope everything gonna be fine for me. I'll get used with the schedule soon. Life's great now, thank you Allah. Man, they don't revolve around me cus the one who's always there for me, family and the circle of friends I have. I'm blessed. Feels much better standing on my own. Those whose only there when I'm happy and disappear when I'm at my lowest, can kiss my tits and fug off.

You can't relate your life with the movie you watch. Movie - they are all planned. Your life, you plan, you decide. No director involve in your life. You can't expect everything to be smooth sailing. Things can be rough too even when you doesn't want that to happen. Whatever happen, just live life to the fullest.

2011-04-06T01:11:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored. I want to sleep but I can't cus I've slept earlier on. I'm suppose to be sleeping in my parent's room with ibu since ayah is away but because of some reasons, I change my mind. School gonna resume on 11 April and I'm not looking forward for it, shucks. I am still in holiday mood. So anyhoos, once school start and once I know my schedule, gonna look for a part time job.

Ya Ampun! I'm so bored lah. I'm suppose to be sleeping but I just can't tsk ah. I hate this. I've been doing lotssa thinking this few days. I need someone's guidance, things are so complicated. I hate to be in deep thoughts, its so tiring. Ok shall blog some other days. Gonna watch Kembar Siang now, funny show! ;D

2011-04-04T15:40:00.004+08:00

Too many things to say yet too little time. Sentosa outing with cousins was cancelled cus I wasn't feeling well. Oh did I mention that I was having asthma and my inhaler finish and I thought I was dying cus I was breathless and I tweeted it and gumuk sms me asking if I'm alright and I told her I feel like dying and eventually she got an extra inhaler which belongs to her sis and she ran all the way from her place to my place! Read that, RAN. I was touched. I cried when I saw her text saying this, "Kau tgu, aku lari gi rmh kau."

That's my best friend.

2011-03-25T09:40:00.003+08:00

Many things happened lately. I'm just not gonna care anymore and just fucking forget about it because I'm just stressing myself out thinking about all those bullshits. Just gotta let it be and pretend that they don't bother me at all. Single, for a month. Woah? Kuddos to me. Despite all those sleepless nights and crying each time I think about those matter, I make it through though. I'd be lying if I were to say I've totally move on but I know someday I'll be fine :) So since I'm single, I can talk to anyone I want and no one can stop me from who I'm talking with and this doesn't mean I'm a flirt. And if I happen to ignore you, simply because you are irritating me :) I'm bad? Lul, not gonna care what people are saying about me already.

So anyhoos, on Wednesday sent Fazlin off at the airport without her knowing :) Eiyja brought along Darwish. Aww cute thang. I feel like bitting him because he is so cute!

And there's Chan Inn!! I was literally stalking him lol! He wanted to change his diapers and then he was touching his diapers. He looked at me and say, "Panas.." HAHAHAHA he is so adorable lah.

I need my catching up with my happy pills. Outing with cousins on the 2nd of April. I need a job badly. I'm so broke ): Regret for quitting my previous job tsk! Later around noon, will be going out for job-hunting. Hopefully there's vacancy.

2011-03-12T16:14:00.002+08:00

I'll be back when I feel like to.

Too many things are happening in my life and it sucks a lot. I tried so hard to accept things around me but things never go the way I wanted it to be. I'll be gone.

Love, me

2011-03-07T12:06:00.003+08:00

Hi! I'm back from Malacca. So basically we went there to visit my sick aunt cus its been like I-don't-know-how-many-years-back I last visit her. So reach there around 2 plus in the afternoon. This is the swayest trip ever! After we got through Malaysia Immigration, the aircon in the bus broke down! It was at 12pm! So imagine the scorching hot sun. We were all sweating so terribly. Luckily theres two square-ish thingy on top of the bus where it can be pulled out and that is where we got the wind from but it wasn't much of a help. So imagine, 2 hours of perspiring. It was hell! Upon reaching Malacca Sentral, we had our brunch. Then waited for my uncle to fetch us.

At night, we headed to Sg Udang cus theres night market there. Bought lottsa food there. The food there look appetizing but they cheat my feelings. Tsk!

At night, I was talking to her. Her only response will be smile, touch my hand, rub my face and do thumbs up. So as I was talking, I tear up. Just as she saw me crying, she started crying too. Its just tearing me apart /; I just miss the old time where we had a family gathering and she'll be the one who cook everything... Will visit you again <3

2011-03-04T11:57:00.002+08:00

It's time to move on. It's hard but I know I can do it. Things are rather hard for me but with my family and friends around, it isn't that hard like how I thought it will. I've fall hard and I'm picking myself up. I'll be fine ;) What do I get if I keep on clinging to the past? I have to start being independent and stop relying on others. We are our own best friend. What I want now is mum to stop asking me about him, thats all. The more she ask, the more flashback and that sucks a lot. I've been keeping myself busy by reading a book. It helps, for me. So I'm gonna start visiting the library as often as I can.

So anw, mum planned to go Malacca tomorrow and she wanted me to tag along. Yes I'm okay with it but something is stopping us. Damn it tsk! I thought if we're going there I can at least ease my mind. It's ok, I got ngaji tonight and I'm so sure by reading Quran it can at least ease my heart and mind.

So school will start for me in a months time. I hope everything will go on smoothly for me. I've been whining to friends, mum and siblings that I do not want to go school but whats my future gonna be like if I stop schooling? Well I just gotta put aside those dislike feelings and start appreciating what I've been given.

OK I better get going. I gotta fetch bro from school.

2011-02-27T23:43:00.006+08:00

Life been like fuck. I just couldn't stop thinking about what had recently happen but life goes on. The feelings sucks - feeling so lost, not knowing if my decision were right. To cry myself to sleep and to wake up with tears and I know things will get better as days goes by. I was so stress that I was down with migraine twice. I know I can make it through someday.

Well, one of my eldest cousin just got married yesterday, like finally! It's a pleasure looking at her with those nice outfit and gorgeous make up. She look beautiful like an angel fall from the heaven. So we cousins are just so excited for the day to come. Things went on smoothly, thank God.

More @ facebook.

Moving on. Today went cycling with gumuk.

And guess what? My thighs is in pain ):

p/s: At this moment, I really should stop thinking and tuck myself in bed. Pfft~

2011-02-24T01:03:00.003+08:00

I used to make it through without you and I know I can make it through this time round. I know I'm strong and things are going to be ok for me, slowly. I just hope you won't come looking for me again. Yes I miss you because its been 2 weeks coming 3 weeks of not meeting you but would it be too much if I'm asking you for a meet up for the very last time? I know its impossible cus I bet that by now you're already hating me.

2011-02-18T20:13:00.003+08:00

I really don't know whats up with my immune system. It has been like #@$#@%@!!

Yeah first I was sick last week Tues but then I was okay by Sat so I thought I was already well but no, it came back again on the following Tues. I took my temperature - it was 39.2!! So I started eating my medicine and mum placed a wet towel on my forehead. Later around midnight, took my temperature again and it dropped to 37.0 So yeah I thought I was ok. I was doing ok again on Wed. Yesterday I feel a lil restless. BUT TODAY IT CAME BACK AGAIN!!!!!!! Really wth is wrong with me?! My throat is swollen and its so painful to swallow my saliva and whats not. Each time I cough, my head hurts a lot or I'll puke. I'm not having a headache but the head is so painful D; Really wth is wrong with me. Mum forced me to go visit the doctor but I just got no energy to walk there and to wait for my turn.

And you, thanks for putting pressure on me. I thought we're going to be ok but your ego is just so big like the universe! I really got no energy to argue with you through the phone last night but because you're giving one crap reason I just got to argue with you! You're heartless boy, so heartless. Gosh I miss you /:

2011-02-11T13:35:00.001+08:00

I always have this fear that one day you are going to discover that I’m not as great as you once thought I was.. /:

2011-02-08T13:28:00.004+08:00

I was being a hardworking girl yesterday and that I decided to clean up my messy room, from one end to the other end.

Tired me.

Next, after cleaning up my room, I did Kuih Layang Layang. My all time favourite!

Been munching on this since just now hehe~ And yesterday mum cooked my favourite food. Curry Chicken Noodle! Today, I'm down with fever, flu and sore throat ): Plans are all cancelled!!!!!!!! Zzz

2011-02-02T02:22:00.003+08:00

February been treating me good. Please go on like this which I know it won't go the way I wanted it to be. Biasalah, air pun ada pasang surutnya. I'm happy with what I have now. The people around me who have been there for me through out my smile and frown moment. This month, I have to learn to be thrifty, to spend on things which is needed. Mum have been reminding me about saving up my money now. Pay is in. I'm still unsure of whether to make a change to my hair.

Oohh the whether is so cold now. Believe it or not, I'm wearing my jacket with my blanket wrapping around me plus the fan is at number 1. But heck, love the weather this way :)

2011-01-28T16:27:00.003+08:00

This lady here turn legal 18 today! Hope you like the small gift from me. Klu dah mataer dgn si ehem ehem tu, don't forget to tell me k. Have blast~ See ya on 12 Feb. Love you dear cousin ;)

2011-01-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

I've never asked to be in that place but if thats where I am suppose to be at then I should be appreciative for at least having a school with the course of my choice though its ITE and not Poly. I don't care what people gonna say about me for I know what I'm doing. No one can ever bring me down and everyone is smart in different ways. So let me be. Stop being so nosy and mind your own business. Thank you very much. Now what worries me is the surrounding. I'm just afraid that I couldn't adapt myself there. Hopefully I can. Mum's prayer is all I need now.

2011-01-25T13:44:00.002+08:00

Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. As it's a lot easier to be angry at someone then it is to tell them you're hurt.

2011-01-24T22:06:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I got paranoid over something I'm not suppose to be paranoid at. It sucks having this insecure kind of feeling and no one has no idea how much I hate having this kind of feelings. Call me nonsense for all you want. I just want to tell the fucking truth but I'm afraid my words is going to make the situation worser. Well fuck it. Just fucking leave me alone, I can handle my life, my feelings, myself.

2011-01-23T15:37:00.005+08:00

Barbeque pit with 4/5 Babies is great. The food, the atmosphere. Everything, you name it. I had countless round of food. From sambal stingray to banana coated with marshmallow and chocolate. Gosh! It was heaven. Yes, heaven to the bloated tummy -.- But heck, I enjoy myself :)) Someone keep on making me choke while eating and guess who?

ACA! Stupid obese girl. HEHEH no, i love you fat girl!

More photos at facebook :)

4/5 Babies, please keep in touch. You guys are the best bunch of classmates I ever had. The laughter we had, the ups and down we went through, the stress moment, those moment where we helped each other to solve maths problem. Every single moment I had with you guys will I cherish.

So anyways, I've resign from my previous job, Monsoon Accessorize. It was a great place to work at and the people there is fun to work with but the working hours is killing me and my legs. One thing for sure, I'm gonna miss my colleagues.

2011-01-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

I'm a happy girl today and the picture above explain everything ^^ Thanks love for the great day spent together!

2011-01-10T11:55:00.003+08:00

I AM SUPER NERVOUS FOR RESULTS LATER AT 2PM!

2011-01-08T14:03:00.003+08:00

I FINALLY GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA FOR MYSELF AND I'M MAD HAPPY! :D

Here's a few shots I took to test the quality.

Hi Olympus FE-5050, you're my baby now ;)

2011-01-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

One by one leaving mon-acc :(

2010-12-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

I am trying to be serious in everything I'm doing now. I should stop playing a fool, really I should!

Oh anyways, I've started work already at ION on 24th Nov. It was super tiring, I swear. I don't like working but because I need money so badly, I had to ): Sad life. So far the people there been treating me good so me likey! They are the reason to why I go to work minus the fussy irritating customer ah. Aiya! I really need a day out with my family. It's been so long since I hang out with my mum. Tsk! So, I had 2 days MC. Yesterday and today. Plus tomorrow is my off day so I'm not working for 3 days straight! Good life right?! Ala, but its for a moment je. Tsk ah!

I can't wait for tmr. Meeting Epak, Mirah and Zul tomorrow for a picnic! Yay! It's been so long since I met them. Miss them terribly much. Huhu! Ok I better get going now. It's getting late. So toodles!

2010-12-04T21:52:00.003+08:00

Everything takes time.

I miss TPRAWKS.

I miss the mass dance ): I miss the mass dance with that chinese PL, heh

2010-11-26T10:42:00.001+08:00

All along, I don't know what I wanted.

2010-11-23T13:24:00.005+08:00

TPRAWKERS '10

I'm waiting for Gumuk to come over my place to pass me the USB cable. So anyway, went for job hunting with her yesterday over at town. I thought it would be hard to look for a job but nah. We applied for work at Ngee Ann city and a few hours later, they called and say that they accepted us! At the same time, we tried our luck over at Cathay and they wanted us to start tomorrow but then we wanted to prepare stuff for work so we requested for next week but they told us to start on Wednesday instead. Just as we got out from Cathay, the one from Ngee Ann city called saying that we're accepted!!

We were quite lost actually cus the one at Cathay has already hired us and we don't know what to say to them that we change our mind of not working there. So after a few discussion, we thought of ditching the one at Cathay cus the one at Ngee Ann city offer a better pay.

I'll upload all the pictures taken yesterday in facebook and a few here alright cus I'm still waiting for Gumuk to come over.

AHAHAH this is the picture where I wanted to puke after eating Wasabi during TPRAWKS. Epic moment! Hahah! And that Kenny kept disturbing me about Wasabi, grrr!

This is Glamish Purple!

This is Glamish Purple group 4, aweshummmm!

Let me introduce them to you. Starting from the left.

Me, Danial, Is sha, Kenny, Eiyja, Maman, Haikal, Claire and Syakir.

They're awesome people!!

This is Afiq and we got the same dad's name!

This is one of our cute PL, Kelvin is his name! \m/

This is another one of the cute PL, Nigel! \m/

Together with the two cute, charrmmmmm PL. HAHAHA!

Okaaaaay enough about TPRAWKS. I'm just starting to miss TPRAWKS. Most people who went for TPRAWKS also went for Red Camp. I gave it a miss cus it's too far from my place and at the same time, I had to wake up super duper early. Heh. Okay I shall stop talking about tprawks already.

So anyway, will be starting work tomorrow. Wish me luck! Okay I gotta go already. I needa meet Gumuk. She changed her mind on coming over my place. Toodles!

2010-11-21T20:29:00.003+08:00

Thousand apologies for abandoning this blog. Oh well, no one reads it though. So ya, heck care!

So anyhooos, the reason to my absence was first, I went for a karaoke session with bestgirl. Then it was TPRAWKS! :D Frankly speaking, at first I thought it will be boring and kindda stuff but everything proves me wrong. I make friends. We experience certain courses and that encourages me to go TP!! Provided I got good results ah.

Overall, TPRAWKS MY SOCKS!

I think ahhh...
Think think think think
Running through TP
In my white undies.
Tall short white black
We all love TP
TPRAWKS TPRAWKS
TPRAWKS my sock
T-E-M-A-S-E-K
TP all the way!

2010-11-14T14:46:00.005+08:00

I just got home from Bugis with dad. We had free movie there, Megamind that is. It was free entrance cus of Back To School thingy :) Just the two of us and people thought that I was my dad's wife. Wth? But too bad, they're wrong. I'm dad's third child hah! After movie, thought of buying that wedges but then since Gumuk told me to wait for her, well I think I shall just wait for her then. So proceed home after that. Was suppose to follow mum to an open house at Geylang there but then it's raining cats and dog so we decided to stay home instead :)

Oh well, thought of going for a jog tonight but then Gumuk just texted me that if she's not wrong, there's flea market going on. Well, flea or jog? Mmmmmm ~ Alright still deciding with her huhu! Yayyy, I can't wait for tomorrow and also the forthcoming events :D I just told my mum which date that I'll be out and dad interrupted, "kluar kluar, exams dah abis blum?!" Chill lah, I wouldn't be enjoying my life when there's exam right? -.- Aiyamak!

Anywayyyyy, here's the pictures as promised with my favourite girls :D

Ahhhh caught in action. Exchange stories session with the girls :)

This is the photographer for that day and the one who cried because he couldn't get his beyblade(?) Cute please!

So overall, I had an awesome day with this people! :D More of this please.

I had this one neighbor who doesn't know how to be thankful but instead, accused my dad anyhow only. She always got a problem with her pipe or whatever, I dont know. So she had to asked my dad for help. In this situation, my dad was like a 'plumber' kindda thing. My dad bought her all the necessary stuff to change her pipe thingy which is not cheap, you see. But she doesn't have to pay lah cus my dad doesn't asked for it though. And guess what? She accused my dad for the increased of her electricity bills. What's the link between water and electricity?! Today, she asked my dad for help cus her washing machine has got a problem but dad told mum to tell her that dad is sick today cus tak pasal pasal, kene accused lagi -.-

P/s: To whoever it may concern. I dislike empty promises. I dislike waiting like a fool. I dislike it when you didn't tell me when it's cancelled. Not gonna look for you anymore! -.-

2010-11-13T00:01:00.004+08:00

GOODBYE MISTER O'S!

O levels has come to an end and I'm freaking happy cus no more studying for me for the next few months! :D I had enough facing books and notes and I know, I deserve this long break. It's been so long since I went out and exchange stories, window shop and camwhoring with my girls and I just did it today :) It was great as we got to catch things up with each other. Who doesn't like it?! Haha! Shall upload the pictures taken today, only when Fazlin has uploaded it :)

My November is super packed. Too many plans coming up and I'm suchha happy girl. To wild wild wet with the girls. Karaoke, cycling and to the gym to work out (ehem ehem!) with Gumuk. TPRAWK. Plus plus, one of my cousins, paternal side, are getting married this 21st Nov and my very very close cousin from maternal side is getting married next year too! :D Plans are all nicely, neatly, lined up. I shall start hunting for job maybe around December? Huhu ~ Like I said, I needa break. I wanna be stress free for now.

I.seriously.cannot.wait.for.all.this! :D

Oookay, I'm feeling hungry at this hour and if you're wondering whats the time now, it's 12.40am. Shall dig in soon hehe! Well it's ok, I'm already fat and I don't care already. I'm just living my life :)) Okaaaay toodles!

2010-09-11T22:47:00.004+08:00

Raya photos. Lazy to elaborate. This year raya is very very different. God knows why!

2010-09-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

The truth hurts. Sometimes the truth is more than we can take. So to make things easier, we continue to live in our false reality. Some of my friends keep returning to ex-es who treated them badly or cheated on them in the past. They feel it’s much easier to believe in the faith of their ex-es than admit to themselves that their boyfriends don’t treasure their relationship that much.

The other party is giving ambiguous, misleading signals. This was the case for me and G. Behavior that’s more romantic than platonic. Behavior that spills over the domain of friendship. This led me to think there was something more. based on your comments , it would seem many of you are caught in the same situation too.

The other party is giving mixed signals. When we try to get closer, he/she shys away. Then when we try to move on, he/she suddenly tries to get closer. Such confusing behavior, such conflicting actions. What should we do instead then? In the end, some of us choose to pander on, hoping it’ll eventually lead to a positive place.

We don’t believe we can ever find someone like him/her. Even though we meet new people, we can’t find someone who matches up. What if there’s no one else out there? It’s so hard to even fathom that. I think a lot of us choose to hang on because we are afraid we can’t ever find someone in the future. The fear of being alone drives us to cling on even when all seems lost.

We are afraid of what’s next if we let go / move on. Having grown comfortable in the relationship, we are afraid of the change that will ensue if we break away from it. What’s going to happen to me? How will my life change? But I’m already so comfortable with him/her! Will I be able to adapt to this new life? Thich Nhat Hanh said it well when he said “We rather stick with suffering that is familiar than pain that we don’t know“.

No matter what the reason is, avoidance never brings us anywhere in the long-term. It’s better to identify when a relationship is going nowhere so we can address it accordingly, rather than cling onto it in blind hopes that things will change. If we hold on to relationships that are not meant to be, we can never attract new things into our life. We will forever be living in the past than moving forward into the future.
Having been through a relationship which led to nowhere, I’ve learned some telling signs on when it’s time to move on. Below are top 12 signs to know when it’s time to move on from a relationship – in particular romantic ones. They will be relevant whether it’s a budding romantic relationship, a new/existing relationship or a past connection.

Out of these 12 signs, I’ve reapplied the 5 signs from when to part ways with friends. That’s because a romantic relationship is built on the same underlying pillars as friendship. The difference between them is the level of intensity. A romantic relationship is much more intense since the parties are usually more closely bounded together.

Top 12 Signs It’s Time To Move On From A Relationship

#1. When you live in past memories more than the present.
Do you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it? Do you use them as reasons to continue on with him/her? If so, it’s a sign your current relationship isn’t how you want it to be. I realized the more we live in the past memories and/or a self-created future, the more we are living in a self-created reality. This is dangerous since it’s not reflective of the actual state of the relationship.

You have to remember your relationship with the person exists in the current moment. Not in the past. Past memories should remain as memories and not as a reason to stay together. Your decision on whether to stay with the person should be based on your current feelings for him/her, the actual state of the relationship and the future you see with him/her.

#2. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.
Sometimes, we tend to be blinded by the past happy moments of the relationship. To the extent we forget about all the unhappiness it brings us. If your relationship leaves you frustrated/upset/unhappy more often than not; If your relationship is leaving you in tears every so often, perhaps this might not be the right person for you. The relationship you are in now should be one which brings you happiness now. Just like #1, if the main source of happiness of your relationship is from past memories, something is amiss.

#3. When he/she expects you to change.
The truest form of love is one that’s unconditional. Your partner shouldn’t expect you to change, unless it’s for your well-being (such as to quit smoking or to adopt a healthier diet). Some of my friends had ex-boyfriends who wanted them to change, such as to dress up more often to look prettier or to lose weight when said friend was of healthy weight. There was even one who actually suggested my friend to shave her arm and leg hair because he felt it a given for girls!

The issue here isn’t about you. The issue isn’t about the change itself either. The issue is about the expectation of you to change. While some requests may start off seemingly normal/benign, they will quickly build on over time. Even as you concede to the requests, more will come. It marks the first step of him/her trying to mold you into his/her expectations of you, rather than you growing into your own.

#4. When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.
The above applies for the other person as much as it applies for you. If you are staying on / getting into the relationship expecting the person to change, you are in this for the wrong reason. You are trying to change the person to fit your expectations, rather than accept him/her as the individual he/she is.

Even if the person does changes, soon you will have something else you want him/her to change. You will never be fully satisfied with how he/she is. The worst thing is, if the other person isn’t conscious, he/she will keep changing just to fit your expectations. In the end, he/she will just end up being your shadow.

This happened between my ex-best friend, K, and me. While we were not in a romantic relationship, some issues we faced in our friendship are probably similar to what others face in their romantic relationships. Through our friendship, I began to see him as an extension of me, rather than as a separate individual. K did not have a very strong self-identity at the time, so unfortunately he kept changing to fit what I wanted. In the end, he was became my shadow. After 10 years of friendship, we had to part ways, because it was the better path for us to grow as individuals – for him to grow into his own, and for me to grow into my own as well.

#5. When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself.

Whenever we experience a situation we’re uncomfortable about, we experience cognitive dissonance. It refers to the discomfort from being faced with something that conflicts against our beliefs. When this happens, we try to come up with explanations, justifications so we can feel good about the situation.

This if we feel the need to justify an action, that means we are uncomfortable with the action itself and we want to explain away the discomfort. The danger behind this is that the explanations are self-created and may or may not be true. If you are repeatedly justifying his/her actions, the relationship becomes built on your rationalizations, rather than the reality. Likelihood is that you are living in your world of false assurances rather than the truth.

Back in 2005 when the relationship between G and I was in the state of ambiguity, I would think of different reasons to justify why nothing was happening. Maybe he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he was shy. Maybe he wasn’t sure of what to do with the relationship. Maybe studies was his priority. Maybe I should take the first step. For a while, I was justifying different reasons as to why he didn’t take action. However reality was he wasn’t taking action. Everything else was just made up in my mind to fill up the gap between this reality and my expectations. By creating all these justifications, I had unknowingly created a mental jigsaw which I had to slowly peel away in the later years.

To see reality as it is, see the actions as they are and let them speak for themselves. Actions ultimately speak louder than words.

#6. When he/she is causing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.
Physical and verbal abuse are definite no-no’s. There is clearly something wrong if the other party abuses/hits/curses/swears at you, no matter how he/she tries to make up for it later. Even if it may be the spur of the moment, the fact that he/she lets slip in that moment shows there is something deep inside him/her that needs addressing.

Emotional hurt is trickier. A lot of people negate emotional hurt because it’s not visible. Ignore it, and it’s not there. But emotional hurt is hurt all the same, if not worse. The wounds that are hardest to heal are the emotional ones, not the physical ones.
I was emotionally hurt by G when he flippantly led me on with his words and behavior, even after I told him not to do it. This had a lingering effect on me for years even after I broke away, which took a long while to heal. Even though he may not have realized what his words/actions did to me, the fact was that he wasn’t conscious enough about my feelings to realize the hurt he was causing me.

The point of this example isn’t to persecute anyone, but to illustrate that the other party should be someone who respects you and is conscious enough of your feelings/well-being not to let you be hurt. If he/she has caused you hurt, you need to bring it to his/her awareness and address it together. Keeping mum about it is like handing a free pass to let the hurting behavior continue. If the same thing happens even after you have made efforts to address it, you need to reevaluate the relationship. If he/she can’t care for you properly, he/she might not be the right person for you.

#7. When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.
Once might be a coincidence. Twice, you might want to give another chance. But 3 times is a clear sign something is wrong. I finally realized nothing was coming out from the relationship between G and I after our loop played out the third time. Each time, I did what I could to make it work out, but it always stopped at the same end. It was more than enough evidence that this was the end.

Do you find yourself in replay mode in your relationship? Do you keep landing in the same situation, the same scenario, the same outcome, time and again, no matter what you do? If so, perhaps you need to accept this is the furthest the relationship can get to. You can keep pressing on, but it’s a matter of time before it sinks in that there’s nothing further to go. This is the end of the road. There is a future for you and him/her, and this relationship isn’t the route to that future.

#8. When he/she puts little to no effort in the relationship.
Every relationship requires effort by the duo. The same applies for familial bonds, friendships, mentorships and most definitely love. Both of you have to commit to the relationship together. If you are constantly the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you. You have to give more and more just to keep the relationship afloat. Unless this imbalance is addressed, it will only become bigger and bigger over time. Soon you sink your whole self into it, losing your self identity in the process.

When you see relationships where one is investing way more effort than the other, they are usually headed to doomsville. Some of my friends were in such situations. They invested themselves into their relationships and poured in their hearts and souls. Their partners, on the other hand, only put in a fraction of that. They barely cared – it seemed as if the relationship was just a nice add-on to their lives, rather than something they really valued. Soon, said partners began drifting away. My friends kept giving more and more, hoping they could salvage the situation. This only slowed down breaking off process but didn’t prevent it.
Don’t get me wrong – it is possible for a relationship to last even when one party is putting in more effort than the other. However, are you prepared to do that for the rest of your life? Is your ideal relationship partner someone who doesn’t care to invest as much effort into the relationship as you? I personally think all of us deserves someone who treasures us fully, who wants to be with us as much as we want to be with us. To have it any other way is like having a car with a tyre busted – it’ll keep moving in a slant until it eventually drives off the cliff.

#9. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.

For any friendship or relationship to work out, there has to be certain similarity in fundamental values. Similarity in these values are the big rocks which will hold the friendship in place. Even if other things are dissimilar, the big rocks will enable the friendship to weather through even the toughest storms ahead.

On the other hand, if your core values are fundamentally different, it doesn’t matter even if everything else is same. The journey to keep the relationship together will only become an uphill battle. It’s just like trying to hold the soil of the ground together in a heavy rain. Without the roots of the tree to hold this soil together, everything will just slip away against your best efforts.

I believe the most important thing in life is to first be true to ourselves. While conformance has its merits, it should never be done at the expense of our own growth or our values. Compromising on your personal values just to keep a friendship afloat will ultimately only make you miserable. What’s worse, because your true self is repressed, you start to wrap your identity around the friendship. This was what happened to K, which was why we had to let go of the relationship partly so he could grow into his own. You need to first be true to who you are before any meaningful relationship can be formed.

Sometimes, it’s possible both of you start off with the same values system. Over time, there will be changes. Maybe he grew to be a different person. Maybe you did. Maybe both of you changed. The changes may result in change in your fundamental philosophies, to the point where they no longer fit. If you can no longer connect with the person in the same manner as before, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.

#10. When the relationship is preventing either of you from growing as individuals.
A relationship is ultimately a third entity formed due to two individuals. Every relationship evolves based on how both parties are growing. Sometimes both parties grow at the same pace. There are times where the relationship is one of stagnancy, where both parties don’t grow. Then there are times when one outgrows the other, by a large margin.

When this happens, you have two options (i) change the dynamics of the relationship to fit this new development, or change yourself to maintain the same dynamics. As I shared above, it’s most important to first be true to ourselves. Determine who you are and who you want to be, then decide if this relationship is one that is compatible with you. A relationship that hinders you from growing into your own isn’t the best one for you. On top of that, if you are not able to grow into your own, chances are your partner is facing a similar blockage as well. A real relationship should be one that enables you in your personal life journey, so you can then enable your partner in his/her life journeys as well.

#11.When you stay on, expecting things to get better.
This is similar to #1, except it pertains to the future. Just like how you don’t live in the past, you don’t live in the future. You can hope that the future will be better, but the fact is you live now. If the only thing that’s making you hold on is the hope of a better future, the relationship isn’t exactly built on solid grounds. The future you wish for is one of the many possibilities that can occur, a possibility that may never come to reality. It’s dangerous to base the fate of the relationship on something that might not occur. A building built on a shaky foundation will crash to an unsightly end when the foundation gives way.

#12. When either of you no longer feels the same way about each other.
Things change. People change. If the feelings are no longer there, it’s time to move on. Some of you might linger on in a relationship even though the feelings are gone. Perhaps it has become part of your routine and you don’t know what to do once you break away. Some of you continue on because the relationship still serves certain functional purposes, such as companionship.
Yet, a relationship without the mutual feelings is like a body without a heart. There’s no soul or life in it. If you no longer have feelings for the other party, staying on is doing the other person an injustice. More importantly, it’s doing you a huge injustice. It’s best for him/her and you to part ways so you can move to better places.

If the other person doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, holding on to him/her only drags out the misery. Realize that “True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” Just because you love the person doesn’t mean you have to be with the person. True love exists outside of the physical fabric of a relationship. This is just a form of expression of love, but in no way is the single definition of love.

2010-09-09T23:57:00.004+08:00

The other day, I had the chance to play firecracker with gumuk. I was a happy girl. We talked a lot not realising the time, maybe cus we do not have the time for each other recently. We just got a lot of things to blabber about. The next day after firecracker with her, I met her again to get my hair done. It was superb (; Thanks babe for the help. Please tell me about the bedsheets and your mum eh. HAHAHAHA! Lesson learn, no nail polish on bed (;

Today I was feeling rather down but someone confessed his feelings for me. That eventually make my day. Thanks for being brave to whoever it may concern (:

So anyway, it is raya tomorrow. We say goodbye to Ramadhan )': and welcome the month of Syawal. It is saddening of cus. May we meet again next year, insyaAllah. Well here's a short shout out for my friends or whoever that is related to me. I apologies sincerely from the bottom of my heart if I've ever hurt anyone be it with intention or not. I'm a normal human being, who is not perfect and never fail to make mistakes. Halalkan makan minum (: Last but not least, Salam Aidilfitri to all muslims (:

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE!

2010-09-07T13:09:00.004+08:00

3 freaking more days to raya, so excited! On sunday, geylang with the cousins. It's been so long since we gather like this, I like! (; Luckilly we were fast enough and we had two long tables during break fast (Y)

Anak Sukor (;

Cucu sukor (;

So anyhoooos, I've cleaned up the whole room. From my cupboard to the bookshelves to study table to windows to making the mirror shiny. An achievement indeed. I've already put up curtains in my room but not yet for living room and dining room. Washroom washed, floor mopped, dust wiped - everything is done! (; Oh except for throwing one of dad's antique phone chair and lay the cushion carpet and done-zo! I'm feeling super super excited hehe! BUT prelims paper have yet to finish and that means after raya, there'll be two more papers to sit for and then time to eff get ready for O levels. Ooo, scary!

2010-09-03T17:26:00.003+08:00

I didn't came to school when there's Physics paper today. Basically cus I was having heavy runny nose and sore throat. It all started while sitting for English paper yesterday. I thought it was a normal sore throat but it leds to asthma and I had the difficulty in breathing. Headed to Polyclinic this morning and it was such a hassle! First, during registration, this cinonek told me to go to room 10 and after going to room 10, she told me to report at her. I did as told. She got a lil lost of what is going on and she keep on like throwing her stapler on the table and sighing. Then she told me to go room 39 for health counseling(?!!!!)

HELLO, I CAME TO CONSULT A DOCTOR NOT FOR COUNSELING!

Seriously, wasted my fucking time. Really got no idea how this come of people can work there _|_ So in the end, this one nurse helped me out and register for me to consult a doctor.

So anyhoos, next week is already september holidays and I actually didn't know anything about september holidays! And ooh golly! 7 more days to hari raya whoop whoop! Fast eh. Kocek nak dekat penuh ni, cheettt~ (; Mum is currently doing sugee. Pineapple tart is done. Baking cookies soon. Curtains all ready and I love my curtain this time round. I don't know when to clean up my room and wipe the windows. It is all begging me to get them clean lol~

2010-09-01T12:18:00.001+08:00

I was laughing so hard cus I actually commented on Syafiq,

"I go to the market, I see you lying helplessly!"

HAHAHAHA, it was all 5 Benevolence inside joke (;

2010-08-27T23:28:00.013+08:00

Haaaaaai (: It's been sometime I didn't update. When I'm free, I'm lazy to update. When I'm busy I feel like updating but many things are occupying my time. So now, I'm both free and feel like updating (: So anyhoooooos, Iftar with chapteh girls spells A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Never ending laughters. From bulldog to sundal bolong to mak nyah to ben 10's balloon to many more. Hahahah! To having plan A, plan B, plan C to out of plan. Everything's great.

Met up with Fazmals and Gumuk first before proceeding to geylang. And Faz was cute cus she forgot where's City Plaza and instead of saying City Plaza, she says Lucky Plaza and that she confidently told Aca to meet at LUCKY PLAZA! How adorable.

Arfizah, Fazlin, Atiesha, Eiyja! <3

Everything is so great. If you say 7 is not a crowd and boring, you're wrong. This is just too awesome to be boring. Okay, I really don't know what to say cus this is just too fun. It's fun, it's great, it's awesome, it's superb! Everything! Everything you name it. (; Thanks Aca and Faz for bringing along your camera. Thanks girls for making the day and spare some time for this meet up/iftar. I swear, I love yesterday's outing. Seee, I'm starting to miss having you guys in school and play chapteh with you guys and see each of our reaction ): Ok dah emo dah. HAHAHA!

Next up, KARAOKE! ((:

No, I was mistaken. I thot there's no school from mon till wed when theres school actually except for wednesday. Baru je hooray hooray ): Anw, I have many things in mind and I can't wait to do it. hehehe~

People says getting hurt makes the love grow but too much hurt can make love fade.

2010-08-20T21:23:00.003+08:00

I hate my brother for today. It's all because of him that mum had to cancel the trip to Geylang today! Grrrrrr~ Bingit, thats all cause after this, I'm so sure I'm gonna be busy. HIAAAAAK~ Whatever! I had my English Oral today and Alhamdullillah, it went smoothly. Frankly speaking, I've never felt this nervous and scared before! I mean, it's normal for me get a lil nervous but only today, it was super super nervous and I'm not being my usual self, who thinks positively to calm myself down. The picture and the convo wasn't as tough as I thought. I say so because I've been in the situation for both picture and convo (:

Okay, first prelim paper falls on 24th. This is getting scarier /: And just when prelim is going to over, O level is coming. Thats super fasssst! Before that is Hari Raya, don't feel the enthu to celebrate it -.-

2010-08-18T19:55:00.013+08:00

Today's post has got two purpose.

YOG Fencing
MT O level result

Skipped english study program yesterday and rushed home. Got myself ready to go for YOG Fencing. Please don't ask me how I got the tickets (: Met up with Effa, Amirah and Zul and off to Convention Centre. As you know, the security is very tight, we have to go through security check and stuff. That point of time, I was wearing metal bangles and my watch was metallic too. So when I went through this thing, there was a 'teet teet' sound. The police officer had to check on. I swear, it was embarrassing. So half way through, we had to break fast. So out we go again. We got back and we have to go through the security check again. I took out my bangles but I forgot to take out my watch, there goes the 'teet teet' sound. They had to check on me again. HAHAH!

So once we reached there, we have no idea what Fencing is all about. We know nuts about it. LOL. We heard others cheering for them, we followed. Hahaha! As time past, we then understood. I was supporting for Italy since Singapore didn't qualified to the semi finals. You must be asking why I supported Italy right? It's all because someone looks like Nick Jonas! ^^ His name is Edoardo Luperi but Zul called him as Lupereh hahaha!

The fencer on the left (:

I kept shouting, "Go Italy!" Maybe (maybe jer), he heard me shouting, thats when he won -against USA. Naise one there! His mum was there and her mum's voice is super noisy hahaha! So I told Effa, "Diam lah bising je, sumbat timun baru tau!" HAAHAH~

Edoardo Luperi!

Nick Jonas! Please tell me, they look alike!

So just as he was announced the winner, he ran towards his mum!

There! Awww, cute boy. Then he ran towards I don't know who, his coach maybe and hugged him.

Yaaay, Italy won for Fencing (;

Here's the part you guys are really waiting for! Ngehhh~ He approach his mum and we started gather around him, wanting to take a pic with him. Effa and me was all excited. Zul was the photographer. We got to take a photo with him! Too bad, it's in Effa's iPhone. Then we went back to our seats. I then told Effa that I wanted to snap a candid photo of him. So I went and took his picture. I got back to my seats and remembered that I haven't snap any photos of him using my phone. So I got back to him and snap his photos secretly.

Right after I snap this photo, his friend called him up and said something in their accent which I don't understand. LOL. This fella, looked at me and said...

"HEY COME, A KISS!"

I was stunt at that point of time. He put his face near my cheek. I THOUGHT, he wanted to put his cheeks against mine but I was wrong. I felt his lips on my cheeek - my right cheek!!! Then to the left cheek! I was on cloud 9! Everyone around was looking at me! MALU TO THE MAX~ Then there was this Springfielder hahaha! She looked at me and tap hard my forearm and said,

"EHHH! HE KISS YOU TWO TIME!!"

HAHAHA, so I ran towards Effa, Amirah and Zul with my cheeeky smile and running hyperly, "DIER CIUM AKU!!!!" hahahah~ The reason to his kiss was..

MAYBE I'm too pretty *ehem ehem! hahahahahahahahahah!! thick skin* that he kissed me. OR He wants me to stop coming back at him ): HAHAHA

(This is what I predicted!)

And his friend who talked to him in their accent which actually makes Luperi kissed me is this guy! Awww, this is cuter! Yes, I was super high right after I got a kiss from Edoardo Luperi. (;

When I wanted to go home, I walked pass this girl in YOG's shirt (volunteer) and guess what did she say to her friend?

"Eh, the girl that just walk pass us got a kiss from Luperi!"

Member famous kejap! HAHAHA~ Right, thats about it.

Now, Im'ma talk about O level MT results. K no, I'm not boasting or anything. Just sharing what I think and I feel.

I didn't expect for anything better than B3 or B4 cus to me, once I got B3 or B4, I'm happy for it. I didn't expect for anything more cus previously I got C5 with Merit for Oral. I thought it was impossible for me though. When friends asked me, what do I expect for MT, all I told them was "B3 or B4?" So when my name was called up, Mr Tan told me that I got an A1 with Distinction for oral and I went like, "HUH!?" I didn't believe it at first. He repeated the same line. That's when I shouted happily~ Really, it was a big jump for me, from C5 to A1.

And when I got back to my seat, the only thing I was thinking about was how did I manage to get that results. As far as I can remember, I didn't do that paper seriously. Well, luck was on my side I guess? Now, I believe in this,

"Nothing is impossible."

Congrats to those who pass your MT O (: Even if you get a B3 or B4, please don't be demoralised. It's not the end. Please keep this in mind, "nothing is impossible". Now that I've already got one A1, I should work extra harder for the other subject. Alhamdulilah~

2010-08-15T10:36:00.003+08:00

It's the 5th day of fasting month which means 25 more days to Raya (; Sad thing is that exam is round the corner when it's Raya. So thank God, nothing stop me from fasting for the past five days but as for yesterday, half way through, I was having migraine. Blame my tummy for making me eat less during pre dawn meal TSK! As for today, didn't wake up for pre dawn meal, my mum overslept or didn't hear the alarm, I guess? I hope migraine won't attack me again. Anyway, yesterday was the start of YOG and I swear, the opening is so grand. Didn't get to watch fireworks live! ):

Ok, thats all. Lol, this post is so random. I nak watch Semerah Cinta Stileto.

A suit makes a man, a stileto makes a woman.

2010-08-13T00:23:00.002+08:00

oh my, I forgot to wish my dad 46th birthday on 12 august ): daaaamn, what was I thinking man?

Dad, you're the pillar of our life. You're the man, we really need in life. You work day and night and never complain about how stressful your work can be, still provide us with our basic necessities. I've never imagine life without you. May God bless you and our family. I love you from the bottom of my heart (:

2010-08-12T22:28:00.009+08:00

You're just lying, acting like you mean it _|_

I'm on cloud 9, I don't know why. BAHAHAH~

Here's some pictures from National Day and Sheesha Session.